you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
