can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
