"it" just moved
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
