i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
