Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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