Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
