He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
