At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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