There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she told me i tasted like america
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize