do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
