in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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