he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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