"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
