whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
