I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
