can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize