At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
