real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize