i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize