Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
