she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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