I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
