how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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