Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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