yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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