He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
