I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Vodka?
Forever.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
