So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
