my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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