im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
