I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The struggles of a small town man whore
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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