have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
whose parrot is this?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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