Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
