I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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