Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Your dad touched me again.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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