Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
