ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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