Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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