Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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