could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
why is half of my head shaved?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
