I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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