Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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