She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You're like the curious george of whores
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well I just put wine in my tea
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
