all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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