You're my little dorito
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
