I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
worst night to have a conscience
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
