I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
