I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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