I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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