at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
