i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Randomize