We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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