It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Randomize
