I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize