his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
