Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
