p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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