but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
