Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
