So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
