I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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