i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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