Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
