90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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