Your tits are I can't wait for
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
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