You can't motorboat a personality
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
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