We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
