I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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