ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
